The way a professional responds to a baby's death can make all the difference to the way a family remembers their baby and copes with their grief. Below are extracts from letters that parents have sent us or articles that have appeared in our magazine, FSID News. Each demonstrates what made a difference to the family or how FSID's campaign recommendations would have made a difference.

Karen Mazur, "Family Liaison Officer made a huge difference"
A Family Liaison Officer, Stephen Foote, was then allocated to Karen and her family. Steve “made a huge difference to us over the next few weeks”. Steve contacted the family daily in person or by ‘phone to let them know what was happening to their baby’s body and to offer support such as FSID’s leaflets and Helpline number.

Stephen came to our house on the morning of the funeral, he had been to the undertakers to ensure that everything was prepared, he laid flowers on Kieron’s grave. My family and I will be forever indebted to him.”

Sarah Harris, "Our baby died - then the police arrived"
Sarah Harris, "Our baby died - then the police arrived"
On arrival at the station, the couple were arrested for neglect; they were held for nearly eight hours. “We were giving fingerprints and DNA, and Jon was saying “This is wrong, we’ve just lost our baby and this is wrong. We couldn’t understand why they were doing this – we’d never been known to social services, Sophie had recently passed her eight-week check with the GP with flying colours, my health visitor was more than happy with us, neither the ambulance crew nor the consultant paediatrician thought there was anything untoward… We thought surely someone would explain and they’d realise they were making a mistake.”
[The names of those involved have been changed. Original article by Kate Ashley www.guardian.co.uk] 

Chris from Darlington “Later, after the horror of it all, we took some comfort in the fact that there had been a post-mortem within hours,”
“William died on 4 September 1991. Later, after the horror of it all, we took some comfort in the fact that there had been a post-mortem within hours, carried out by a paediatric pathologist. In our search for an answer, we were at least assured by an expert that we hadn’t contributed to his death. With regard to the days after he died, the GP was good but really there was no input from health care professionals – we were left to wallow. That was wrong. I welcome what FSID is doing; parents need to know that things have been looked into, more importantly they need support.”

Suzanne from Warwickshire “The police officer came and sat on the bed with me and the rest of my family and he sobbed and sobbed. He had a little girl of his own. His support was fantastic. “
“When Daryl died my daughter called the ambulance and the police arrived at the same time. It was obvious that Daryl had died and we weren’t going to bring him back. The police officer came and sat on the bed with me and the rest of my family and he sobbed and sobbed. He had a little girl of his own. His support was fantastic.

Lesley from Lancashire “No paediatrician ever contacted us even though my husband is a GP and knew them all.”
“There were some aspects that were dealt with sensitively and very well after Jessica died. My GP was very good – he stayed with me for hours and did not rush me at all. In other ways I felt ignored by the professionals. No paediatrician ever contacted us even though my husband is a GP and knew them all. No-one ever explained the results of Jessica’s post mortem to me. One time I was in the supermarket with my husband Mike. The pathologist who examined Jessica said ‘hello’ to him and ignored me. This hurt a lot. I would have done anything for Jessica to have been examined by a paediatric pathologist. I feel cheated that she only had a twenty minute post mortem. This wasn’t enough and I do not feel that every stone was turned to find the cause of her death. If a child is in hospital with a broken arm, you don’t expect them to be seen by an obstetrician.

Please call the helpline on 020 7233 2090 or email helpline@fsid.org.uk to talk about your experience.